Relaxation.. :)

So, it's been a whirlwind week. Mexico was great, but in reality it consisted of long hours at the plant, a long plane ride, and I didn't even get to see the sights. But it was great to meet and interact with the people who are making it all happen. We took a couple hour tour on the second day of the whole construction site. We left the temporary offices - which is just a bunch of trailers just outside the fence from the plant. Showed up onsite with jeans, polo shirt, steel-toed boots, safety glasses and a brain-bucket :) It was about 75 degrees and hardly any clouds in the sky.

It is quite interesting to be onsite of a mexican construction project, where it is sometimes cheaper to higher 10 men than to rent a piece of equipment to do the work. I can't imagine making between $0.50 and $2.00 an hour doing manual labor. I think the average price was $1/hour. We watched electricians setting up temp utilities, welders, tanks construction..the list goes on. We took a tour of the whole site asking about quality/design/etc? I told them to pretend I was a kid and explain everything to me. I have been in plants before and have helped put together contracts/purchase orders/etc. I have seen technical specs on plant layouts and air compressors, chillers, sanitary/storm/sewer/firewater pipelines, lighting diagrams, powerhouses/wastewater designs.. I have seen a lot, but it's interesting to see it all come together. We talked with our subcontractors and were able to streamline the processes and make sure everything was on schedule and see what items might slip if we're not careful. This ended up being a very worthwhile trip.

We also had some really good mexican food/entertainment and got to relax in the pool (after hours) before we headed home on Friday. hmmm... 3 hours in a 90 degree pool. It was wonderful. We even got to practice our minimal spanish with the pool maintenance man who spoke only spanish, except about 5 words of English. I also met a women on the plane who I ended up having dinner with in Houston who is from Monterrey and said she would tutor me in spanish if I was interested. We got along great, so I'll probably take her up on it :) She only lives about 20-25 minutes from me. So we shall see...

Cincy was also a good time. I went with my sister and her family to the Creation Mueseum in Kentucky on Sat morning. It was great to see my little niece. She is getting so big, so fast. 12 weeks :) Then I spent the rest of the weekend at Octoberfest with my South African friends and then we played about 3 hours of sand vball and had a BBQ and watch the game on Sunday. I can't believe it has been 2 months since we got back from SA. I can't wait to go back next year!!

Life is so great having all these opportunities to connect with people and learn new things and constantly running into life's challenges.

Time Alone...

I wanted to warn everyone that I will be turning my phone/computer off for the next week. Beside the fact that I am leaving town tomorrow and will not return until late Sunday night. Those hours spent in the car/airport/plane/hotel will not be spent with people or on the cell phone. I need to remember what silence is. With as busy as I am, it seems like weeks fly by. But I want to make this week stand still. I want to process life and really take it all in. I need some quality God time. We had a bible study tonight on fasting. This is what I am fasting from for the next week - the ability to communicate to anyone at anytime. You don't even know how excited I am!!

The Search...

As much as I go, go, go...I still need reflection time... So, another weekend away, why not? :) I went to the Kensington/North Ridge retreat in Lake City this weekend. I really had an issue with the decision, but knew there were reasons I was supposed to be there. My prayers were in fact answered and I crossed another bridge that I have been dealing with as well. God knew what I needed and he was there with the answers.

I only knew of one other person going on the trip out of 350 people. I love going on trips alone because I have more freedom and I don't feel like I am held back from doing something or hanging out with someone else. Well, come to find out, I started seeing more and more people I knew..okay, so there were only about 6 other people, but there were other people who had connections to various areas of my life.

Harvey Carey was the speaker for the weekend. He was a very dynamic man of God. We had four 1.5 hour sessions. The four subjects that he touched on were The Verge of a Breakdown, Of Belief, Of a Breakthrough, and of Beginning. The first two were good, but I am pretty solid in those areas. However, the sermon on Breakthrough really hit me hard. This was where I really found answers that I was looking for. I felt like I hit a wall in my spiritual walk with God. I really had to take time aside to process my thoughts. Then the Beginning was a great way to end the retreat. As a group, we all wrote down what we were giving to God in order to start new, tied these papers to balloons, and as a group, released them into the air and watched these heartaches and memories released for good. Now is where it begins, now is where I need to take action and will start to see things change.

Here was one of my realizations....I didn't know what it meant to be in love until a little over two years ago...With all my heart and soul, I was in love, I just couldn't say those words. Not just yet, I wanted to make sure it was right. Then one day on July 19, 2005, I was able to say it for the first time and really mean it. It wasn't just to be in love, it was to make that commitment. I had finally taken down that wall that protected myself from being hurt. After that, I started saying it to my family...my mother in particular. I remember when she would say it and I would never say it back. It was just words that I couldn't get out. Then one day, I started saying it back... However, 9 months later, it was to be said no longer. I decided that the one thing I learned from my relationship was that I needed to love God in the same way, but to even a greater extent because he would never leave me nor forsake me. That lasted for a couple months, but I was still struggling with the hurt and pain and started to build the wall again. I'm not sure exactly when it all happened, but I don't remember the last time I said I love you to anyone...well and really and truely with all my heart meant it. And I have also put the wall up in my walk with God and didn't really see this as the rootcause until this weekend. I finally opened my heart back up to him on Saturday and just let the tears fall down my face. I was finally feeling again. I finally was able to say I Love You and mean it. Where does the path lead from here? I must relearn how to love. To love that which can't be seen. To have faith and trust in a God who is the Maker of all heavens and earth, those things which can be seen. I pray that I will find my way back, and will stop building walls to protect myself. It will most likely only hurt my relationship with God.

I am Free

I started listening to a new CD a few days ago and know there are a few songs on it that I like, but am not sure what number or the song name, but when I hear it, I know that the words hit me and connect with my emotions. Well, I was in the car with my friend last night and the first song was playing. I mentioned that I really liked the song. He asked what song it was and why I liked it, but until I heard the words, I realized that I had never really "focused" the reasons why I liked it or what it really meant to me. I think I am like that with most things. I can only recall it while it is happening.... So, on my way home, I played the song a couple times and it made me start to think. Here is the song....

"I Am Free" by Newsboys
Verse:
Through You the blind will see,
Through You the mute will sing
Through You the dead will rise,
Through You all hearts will praise
Through You the darkness flees
Through You my heart screams I am free

Chorus:
I am free to run (I am free to run)
I am free to dance (I am free to dance)
I am free to live for You (I am free to live for You)
I am free (I am free)

It is a simple song, but think about what it means. Through God anything is possible... Through Christ we are free. He lifts the burdens off our hearts. He is capable of anything. This song also makes me realize that living in America we are free to believe. Religion is something that we take for granted. In some countries, it is prohibited to believe another religion. In some families, you would be disowned. In our bible study yesterday, Kelly read an excerpt from a book she was reading about how Perpetua, and her slave Felicitas who stood up for what they believed and were beaten and then beheaded (~203AD). By order of Septimius Severus (193–211), all imperial subjects were forbidden under severe penalties to become Christians or Jews. However, they stood firm in their beliefs. They knew the consequences and still continued to live and breath God's word.

It is just like the Jesus' disciples. I found a list of people in the New Testament and it lists how they were tortured/imprisoned/died.

Traditional tales of the fates of the Apostles & other New Testament names
· Stephen (= crown) is 1st martyr.
· James (John’s brother) died under Caligula: falsely accused converted one of his accusers who died w. him beheaded by sword in 44.
· Philip (52) traveled Asia, Phrygia, Hierapolis where conversions led to destruction of serpent idol —> imprisoned, tortured, crucified
· Matthew (60) (Account is source of Mt being written in Heb) went to Ethiopia, then Parthia wherekilled by sword
· Mark Established bishopric at Alexandria went to Libya, back to Alexandria accused by jealous Egyptians dragged feet-first through streets left overnight in dungeon body burned in the morning
· James (author of Epistle) beaten & stoned to death by Jerusalem mob
· Mathias (Judas’ successor) stoned & beheaded at Jerusalem
· Andrew went to Asia then Patrae, Greece where crucified w. ropes on X-shaped cross continued to thus preach 3 days released ordered by governor died on release
· Peter According to the records of the bishops of Tungenr, about A.D. 50, Peter sent Eucharius, Valerius & Maternus to Belgijs-Gaulen (Incl. Trier, Tungern, Luyck, & Cologne) Christianity came to Zeeland from Luyck. Crucified head-down during Nero’s time
· Paul Beheaded by sword under Nero Roman Catholic Church (RCC) myth that no blood, only milk issued from his veinshis head jumped thrice & at each spot raised a spring of “living water,”place is still called “The Three Fountains”claimed that the water still tastes like milk5
· Jude (brother of James) = Thaddeus, Persia crucified in 72
· Bartholemew slain with sword? beaten with clubs?
· Thomas Preached Parthia to India thrust through with spear
· Simon Zelotes - Nicephorus reports that he preached in many landsMauritania to Africa to Britain crucified in Britain in 74
· John Ephesus, Domitian had him caught & sent to Rome escaped being boiled in oil banished instead to Patmos Released by Domitian’s successor, Nerva John returned to Ephesus died naturally at age 100:

I also found a write up where a Marine Chaplain references this song as he is talking about the wars America is fighting.

This is freedom for life, freedom in life, freedom to live life in all its richness, fullness, and delight as it was meant to be. This only truly begins to be found through freedom in Christ. In the Bible, we read of our Freedom in Christ in Galatians 5. It says, “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” This is freedom for life and freedom from sin. So many search for this type of freedom in so many different ways, some less healthfully than others. Still, this freedom for life that God speaks of is so open, so liberating, so available through personal acceptance of Jesus Christ. This is freedom from the penalty of sin and my myriad of past sins. This is freedom from the present loneliness, depression, sadness, discouragement, worry, etc, and freedom from having to do the same things and fall again for the same sins that got me into so much trouble in the first place. Lastly, this is freedom in the future to live in heaven above when my short life is done.

Whitewater..Yeah Baby!!

This weekend was quite the adventure...We left my house on Saturday morning at 6:30am. Here is a pic of us all packed and ready to go.

It took about 8.5 hours to arrive at the Ace campground in Fayetteville, West Virginia (http://www.aceraft.com/). Upon our arrival, we found out that they booked our trip for Monday instead of Sunday....After a little bit of stress and frustration...we were able to switch the trip and were scheduled for the 10:30 trip instead of the original 8:30 trip. Woo hoo, we got to sleep in!! Once we got that all settled, we setup camp at the top of the mountain, changed into our bathing suits and headed back down to the pond play area to play with all the inflatable toys.

We played on the trampolines, the huge slide, the big saturn ball, the inflatable bridges, and the teeter tooter. Then we found the Chicago crew who were all about climbing the inflatable wall. That is where OOC originated... Out of Control. A great start to the weekend..hehe... After a few tumbles, face plants, welts...okay, it wasn't quite that bad, but boy was it fun...Amanda and I had the best OOC moments, that's for sure :)
Then after we had our fill of water, we built a fire, cooked some hotdogs and chilled out for the rest of the evening. Sunday was going to bring some fun...So, we woke up, grabbed some breakfast, continued our reading from Nehemiah (our goal was to finish the book by the end of the trip), threw around the football and headed down to the departure area to play some vball while we were waiting to leave. It was time for another adventure!! We got grouped with 3 guys from Chicago (Dominick, John and Jason) and our guide Josh. He was awesome. He had been a guide for 14 years and really seemed to know the river. Since the water levels were low, we made the most of the smaller rapids, by either standing up through them (that was interesting...) or swimming though them. Here is a pic our our crew.

About an hour from the end, we also had the opportunity to do a cliff jump ~50 ft. That was awesome. Dominick and I did somersaults, while the rest of our team just jumped in feet first. OOC baby!

Anyway, long story short, it was a great time. We are already planning our trip back over memorial day!!