The snow is falling!

The snow is falling and is beautiful outside this morning :) It makes me happy and now adays anything that makes me happy is a good thing. If you know what's going on in my life, you can understand why. It seems like I get some type of bad news everyday. Some things I have control over and others I don't. The ones that I have control over, I am working to fix. Those I don't, I am continuing to pray about. God will open doors and close them as well.

For those of you:
- Who are losing your jobs: This is just the next step in your life. Remember change is good! Change is also hard.. Pray about what God's next step is for you.

- Who has a family member who is critically ill: Be there for them, go out of your way to touch their lives, Pray for them AND with them. Remember that Family comes first and we all know that sickness and death are very hard to deal with.

- Who have miscarried: It is hard to lose a baby, but there is a reason that your body does not allow it to be born. May God be with you during this time.

- Who suffers from depression: Find the root of it, determine why it happens, learn not to depend on others for your happiness, find the little things in life that will make you happy. Trust in God that he will get you through it.

- Who have an addiction: It takes at least 21 days to get over an addiction. It is hard to stay away from it, not think about it, and not easy to let it happen again. Everytime you think about it, pray about it instead of dwelling on it. Your life will be better without it.

- Who have lost a relationship with a loved one or friend: There is a reason that everyone is in your life for a period of time. You can learn something from them, you may make mistakes, but try to see the good from the relationship and make sure not to make the same mistakes again. Treasure those moments that you spent with that person. Also take time to mourn for the loss, make sure that you process it and not just move on without dealing with it. Just remember that you only have so much room in your heart. You can now give more quality time to others and new people will enter your life in time.

Just remember to let God be your Rock and your strength. He is our heavenly father who loves us very much and he will provide.

Ann Arbor Adventures

What do I do when I have a day off? I spent it outside as often as possible.

I had last Tuesday off for voting day, so after I voted, I headed out to Ann Arbor. My first stop was Starbucks to get my free cup of coffee and catchup on my email.

Then, I headed to the many little shops along Main and Liberty. It was nice and relaxing :) I even ran into my co-worker Brian as I was wondering the streets.

Since it was too beautiful to be inside, I headed to the arb. I walked through the park, up and down the paths and to the Huron river. While I was wandering, I foung a fuzzy little caterpillar :)



Then I found an awesome park bench where I read and took a nap :) Well I didn't actually sleep, just rested my eyes and soaked up the sun!




I found tree #57 and I entitled this tree "Putting my life in the hands of God" I felt like it was a hand engolfing me. It was amazing :)



Then I ended the evening with a Hot Chocolate at Biggby with my friend Ben :)



It was the perfect day!

Let it snow!

Let it snow! It was a beautiful day outside today :) The big huge snow flakes falling from the sky... As soon as I got out of church, I put on my snow gear and headed out the door. I drove down to Detroit to help out with the Homeless BBQ. To join a group of people with the same purpose in mind. To get to know the people in Detroit. To join their society for a day. To take food to them, to serve them, to bless them. All this, while the snow fell! It was a great experience. I'm glad that I was able to spend this snowy day outside in the middle of Detroit. Sitting around a hot coal-burning fire keeping warm. Woo hoo! Then I went home and made a big pot of chili :) It was a great day! Restful, relaxing and ready to start another week.

Next Step

So, tomorrow is the start of another week. Another week to think of what I want to do with my life. To back track, 2 weeks ago, my roommate informed me she was moving out. I immediately posted an ad for a roommate. 10 days ago I was informed that my job is ending in Dec. I went home on Thursday night, thinking I was going to rent my house, move to DC and get a new job and live a life of high energy. On Friday, I talked to my "new" roommate who is moving here from California. Friday night, I started senting my resume to all my friends in Michigan with possible leads, old co-workers, searching indeed.com and various company sites where I had contacts for job posting. Within a week, I had two interviews and am waiting for a job offer within the next week. Talk about the fast track to the next phase of my life.

In the meantime, I put things into God's hand thanking him for opening doors. But am I moving to fast to really listen. Am I just so worried about getting everything back into place. I don't want to live off of the government. Unemployement? I don't want to settle into the life of unemployement. Should I continuously search for a job in all my spare time? If I receive a job offer this week and it looks good, should I take it? What will my life look life if I take the job? They asked if travel would be an issue? As much as I love to travel, do I really want to stay the night in hotels? It might be more travel in the beginning, with more conference calls as time goes on. I don't know... But I felt a real energy and high after the interview. Maybe it will be a good next step.

What do I really want to do? To be honest, I am a procrastinator and the longer I wait to figure out what I want to do, the less energetic I will become about it. I keep running in circles.

Well, this week I get to focus on training my replacement....At least I am in a better place than last week. At least this week, when she asks me what I am going to do next, it won't emotionally hit me like it did last Monday. I am in a better place, with a better job in line. I need life to be mixed up a little :)

What do I wanna do when I grow up?

So, I am at the point in my life where I need to decide what I want to do when I grow up...

It has been a little crazy at GM lately, not knowing what rumors were true. Well, last Friday 6 people got laid off in my dept. Where there more coming? With as bad as GM has been doing I am assuming as much..

Well, on Thursday at 11:15, my direct boss asked if he and my other boss could talk to me for a few minutes. In my head I was thinking, am I being spared and listed as "strategic" or are they telling me that the fight for my job was at an end. Choice #2 is correct.. They had no choice, they did not want to lose me, but since I was contract, I was considered headcount. I am not a real person. However, I greatly respect my boss. He only had to give me a two week notice, but he just wanted to give me a heads up, so I has more time to start looking for a job. At that point, he knew that it would be sometime in Dec. Later on he came back and said Dec 15.

The good thing about my bosses and the work that I have done, is that they both said that they would pass on my resumes to our suppliers (energy, not auto) and would help me out in any way they could. They would even give me a recommendation letter.

So, now I have to decide what direction I want to go in. Do I take more time to find the "perfect" job in this economy or do I create three different resumes to show the three different skill sets and look for positions in all these areas. The only problem right now is that I found one company with 6 different positions that I want to apply for and one area is in the finance realm and the other in the Program Management. Two different set of skills... But I found a company in Michigan that is growing and hiring! And I know people that will hand deliver my resume! Hurray :)

I always thought it would be cool to be laid off, so I could go travel and play for a few months, but my cash liquidity is low, my mutual funds have all take 40-50% hits, michigan economy is bad, and unemployment is going to hit hard this month, and it is winter, so unless I go to Brazil....it's a little cold to be walking around Europe.. Oh, and no health insurance! I just wish I could secure a job in Jan and then I could go play for a month.

But needless to say, I will be updating my resume, and job searching for the next month, and of course, praying for direction!!!

Familar face..

All my life, I have remembered faces. I have a hard time with names or sometimes placing people. I have had conversations with people and its taken time to figure out how I knew them. However, most the time I see a person and immediately know.

So, I went out on Thursday to the Motor City Casino for a live Latin night in their hotel club. It was awesome, I was having a good time and about half way through the night, I saw this guy. Tall, dark and handsome. I knew I knew him, but couldn't figure out how. I was trying to figure it out, I even talked to my two friends about it trying to rack my brain. I was just about to approach him when I realized he was about to escort his "drunk" friend out. I asked him in passing if I knew him and he said no....

It finally hit me last night. He is a TV star on one of the new series. I looked him up and found his bio. I talked to my friend and she said after I left, he came back and they talked to him. Crazy, the very little TV that I watched and I felt like I knew him.

It's kind of interesting how we mix reality with "make-believe". Our brain sometimes plays tricks on us. What feelings and emotions are real? Our mind tends to lead us in one direction and sometimes our hearts lead us in another. I think we also tend to assume things based on previous knowledge or experience. Boy, how that can change the way we act and the things we do.

So, be warned about the dangers of the make-believe world. Things are not always the same in real life... Try living in the real world, not watching it on TV or through the stories of others!

Simple Little Pleasures

Tonight, there is a full moon and it is absolutely amazing outside! I just got done with bible study and threw my tennis shoes on and hit the side walk... When I moved here, I mapped out a two mile run and whenever I just want to get outside and get a little exercise in, I run through my neighborhood to this park about 2/3 mile away. With all the leaves falling, I kept hearing the crunching of the leaves as I jogged through the park. It was the perfect night to go running :) I just listened to worship music on my ipod, as I ran and reflected on life. It was so peaceful and the perfect way to end this longggg day! I wished this weather was here to stay. Nice sunny days and cool nights, but I know it is too good to be true. It is going to be cooling off by the end of the week.. Perfect for the apple orchard. I can't wait to go pick some apples and make an apple pie! Ah, life is great with all its simple little pleasures :)

6 more days...

So my bday is in 6 days! I love my birthday! I usually celebrate for weeks, sometimes even the whole month :) But this year it is different.. I'm not totally excited about it. I don't want to plan anything, and this year, I don't have a co-hort to plan it with. Normally I just go to Chicago or something and then everything just falls into place. But this year, I have to decide what I want to do and who I want to do it with and start making phone calls and plans. Yeah, no thanks...

It seems like every time I have an idea, it falls through. I want to go to the Apple Orchard, but no one else is really excited about it or is too busy, I want to do things that I have never done before, or things that I haven't done in a long time! But I want to do them with someone who had a passion for it. Like going golfing, or to the rifle range, or to Eastern Market, or ??? I want someone to get excited with me. Not anyone, but someone who I love to spend time with. But this year, most of my closest friends are busy and no one else really seems to care. And I wouldn't say "care", but I get the response, "Just let me know what you want to do and i'll see what I can do" instead I want the, "I'll pick you up at 10:00 and we will go here and do this and then that and take on the city!!" I want there to be someone who knows me and my thoughts, and can help me take on the world!!

On my birthday, I don't like gifts, I like memories. And those memories I want to share with my friends. These memories will be starting on Wed and will last until Sunday night. Here is to the almost 30!! But not quite yet ;) Next year baby!!

I have been blessed!

I have been blessed! I am just sitting here thinking of my life and that song is running through my head. I wake up with a smile on my face everyday and a peace in my heart. I have a house, a job, a car, great family, friends, good health...yeah, yeah, right? But even more than that, I live in a cute little city and can afford to pay my bills, my work is moving next week, so I only have a 5 mile drive instead of a 13 mile drive. I have great co-workers who I love to work with and look forward to each new task and how to conquer it. I just went to my sister's in DC and ended up driving home an old red T-top camaro in great condition. My new summer play toy! I can go visit my sisters and brothers whenever I want and love to spend time with them and hang out with my nieces and nephews! My mom and dad will be helping me replace my patio door and change the struts on my Grand Prix in the next couple weeks.. I just got tickets to go to today's UofM game for free and can't wait to spend the day in Ann Arbor.

I live every day as if it were my last. All this I give thanks to God! Without him I am nothing. I have people praying for me on a constant basis. My small groups are wonderful! As well as my friends and family. I believe it is God who as blessed me and I in turn want to bless others. I pray that I do not get caught up in material things and those things here on earth...

So, a little tangent..I had a dream the other day... I love to give, right? I never mind helping someone out if they ask... In real life, I needed to stop by my old work and pick something up this week, but since I don't live in the area, I asked a friend to do it and will be there today to get the envelope. Well, I dreamed about this scenerio. I felt bad for making my old co-worker John go out of his way, and for Ben to go out of his way to pick it up and be there for me today when I drive through town. I dreamed that everything fell apart. My co-worker was not happy about the inconvinience, Ben didn't have time and was getting nothing out of it, he wasn't at his house today when I was supposed to pick it up... I drove myself crazy in the dream, which lasted about 2 hours, waking up 4-5 times during the dream and not getting any sleep. I hate making other people go out of their way for me, even if I have helped them out tremendously in the past. I must learn to give as well as receive. I have the same problem with compliments. Yes, I have great self-confidence most of the time, but sometimes, I just don't think that I am the best I can be.....and have a hard time with it.

In the meantime (to get back to the topic), I am living a blessed life, and want to give all the glory and the honor to our creator! Let me live in peace and let me smile spread!

SVO vs biodiesel

Working in the energy field always makes me a little more interested in various forms of energy. Even though I work with sources related to production vs product, it didn't change the fact that this topic intrigued me.

When I was in Costa Rica a few months ago, Wayne (one of the missionaries) was driving around in a F-250. He was very well known because there were only a few trucks in the area. Most people has small cars. It is a very poor area, which makes the price of gas even more expensive. Well, come to find out, he had a SVO conversion on his truck. SVO is simply Straight Vegetable Oil. He has found a few key restaurants in the area that use oil for cooking, takes their used oil (for free), filters it, and pours it into his truck. He essentially is living off of free gas, that is except the diesel that he uses the last 5 minutes to purge the oil out of the line to keep it from cooling down and clogging. I thought this was quite interested. I also noticed that the ride was much quieter than diesel. Wayne said that the coversion had already paid itself off!

Since then, I have had two conversations about this topic. I was sitting in Starbucks a few weeks ago and ended up talking to a guy named Brandon about the this topic. After about 10 to 15 minutes I realized I didn't know enough about this technology, so I went home and started researching it. I found a company that specializes in these conversions and they have some great FAQs on the differences between biodiesel and SVO posted on their website. I also found a blog that was posted on a converted Jetta. Both quite interesting sites.

http://www.goldenfuelsystems.com/resources_faq_systems.php

http://www.autoblog.com/2006/04/04/in-the-autoblog-driveway-2003-vw-jetta-svo-straight-vegetable/

Happy Reading :)

Three Weeks...

Its been three weeks since my last blog. How time has flown! It has been a rough recovery, not being able to go on with my normal life - no working out, volleyball, tennis :( However, last week I decided that I had enough and went salsa dancing! It was worth the pain :) Then I figured I would start my own PT, so I got a group together to go canoeing on Saturday. It was awesome! Again, a little sore, but slowing building things back up. I feel almost normal again. Not going to push it too hard, but I feel like I put my life on hold the last three weeks (or 2 1/2).

I have to say I am experiencing the feeling of conviction. I came home from my mission's trip prepared to work on my spiritual walk. I was sick for two weeks, caught up with life for a week, and then was recovering from my injury for the last three. God gave me plenty of down time to spend with him and I tried, but didn't have the best attitude about it because my body was not 100% and I could not do everything that I wanted and was used too. I could have used that time in such a more productive way. I did however follow the Olimpics which were pretty awesome. Instead of reading, writing, and reflecting...

However, this last week has been really good for me. I have actually sat down and started reflecting, and reading, and... Wait I just planned 2 trips this month, filled up almost every weekend in September and October and started thinking about all the places I want to visit on my two weeks off in December... Maybe I haven't quite figured it all out yet..

I have been thinking of what I have accomplished in the last 8 months. I can't believe it will be September this weekend. My goal will be to put a little concrete thought to this year and how I have changed and what I have been through.

Point of my rambles - The holy spirit is trying to convict me and bring me closer to him and every time he catches me, I slip through and find the next adventure. I pray that God will follow me and be with me in all these adventures and bring light and direction in the midst of my plans...

hmmm...things to ponder... Maybe blogging will be good and help me with some clarity.

A Long Weekend and an Answer to Prayer

Well, the weekend started off great and then came to a screaching halt! I was at my sister's on Saturday morning and we were training her new horse Freeze. He is a retired Harness racing horse and most of his training consisted of trotting as fast as possible pulling a buggy. He doesn't realize that he is allowed to trot slow :-/ Well, he wasn't very comfortable doing some of the exercises and freaked out on me. I lost my footing, then my balance, almost had everything under control and in a split second as he got frisky again, I decided to bail before he was running full tilt across the yard. I rolled off, landed on my back and had the wind knocked out of me. Yeah, a little rough. I had a hard time breathing and as I managed to roll over, realized that I was coughing up blood...yeah, not a good thing, so that was just the beginning. Praying the whole way to the hospital, as I was scared to breathe deep and cough up more blood... I made it to the hospital, got checked in.

So picture this, sitting on a hospital bed hooked up to a heart monitor, oxygen and an IV. After many checks - chest x-ray, CT scan and back x-ray and 3 1/2 hours later, they could not find anything wrong, could not figure out why I was coughing up blood. I was extremely sore and could feel the bruising, but no internal issues or broken bones. Praise God! So now my main issue is sleeping - there is no comfortable position, but I know within a couple weeks I will be back to my normal self!

Here is a picture 3 hours after I was released. This is me and my ER twin. We had made plans to hang out Sat afternoon and after calling her, found out she too had spent the morning in the ER (different hospitals). We decided a little time with a view of the water would help make up for the fact of spending time in the hospital! Yes, I still managed to find a way to smile :)

Costa Rican Sites

All work and no play is just not right when you are in a place as beautiful as Costa Rica! We were given two days off as days of rest. I also stayed an extra 4 days which turned out to be an essential and definitely needed to complete my trip.

Combo Trip

1. Took an all day trip around San Jose
2. Saw the Poas Volcano
3. Enjoyed the views of the La Paz Waterfall Gardens
4. Took a River Adventure in Puerto Viejo de Sarapiqui – seeing Toucans, Monkeys and crocodiles
5. Conquered the Rainforest Canopy (zip line) consisting of 10 platforms. We were transported by horseback to the entrance. Then we saw the butterfly farm, frogs and snakes upon completion.

Surfing Lesson on South Jaco Beach
Rented a surfboard for $10 (per day) and took a quick lesson from one of the locals. The waves definitely took a toll on my body, but it was worth it to be standing up cruising inland on a wave! It was so much fun, that I went a second time when I was on my own time. I have about 5 bruises to prove victory over the waves ;)

Tortuga Island Cruise
One of the church members arranged to take the pastor and a couple key missionaries, interns, and me on a large fishing boat to Tortuga Island, docked at Los Suenos. It was an amazing hour boat ride to the island, where we swam in the ocean, kayaked, mad sandcastles, played sand volleyball, read and soaked in the sun. It was a great day!

Horseback Riding Tour
We took a Discovery Tour, lead by a lady at the church, on Horseback to the waterfalls and had a mud bath! It was an absolutely wonderful tour. Unlike most other horses in Costa Rica, these were rescued horsed that were well taken care of.

Jaco Beach - Week 2

We spent 1 week in Jaco Beach right in the center of town – 1 block from the water! Things we learned in/about Jaco:

1. Jaco was the “arm pit” of Costa Rica or better known as the present day “Sodom and Gomorrah”.
2. It is a town right off of the ocean and is filled with drug trafficking, prostitution, and contains 3 brothels.
3. We were told not to go out after dark unless we were in a group. It was very unsafe to walk around late by yourself. Women could be mistaken as prostitutes.
4. It was very hot and humid in Jaco! Shorts and Tank tops were a necessity.
5. The pace of life was pretty slow in Costa Rica. Everything took forever to get done and it definitely showed in the Tico Mentality.
6. The church we worked with was the Calvary Chapel. The pastor and his wife had been in Jaco for 3 years. There was also a missionary couple that had arrived 6 weeks before our team got there. They also had 2 summer interns who helped organize the various ministries and locations.
7. Every Friday, there is a fresh veggie and fruit market every Friday from 11-3. Wonderful mangos and avocados! We ended up making guacamole a couple times instead of living on PB&J.
8. We stayed at the Estrellamar which was a pretty decent hotel. They had a hangout area with hammocks, and a pool where we cooled off every night!
9. Hot Showers! Well, most of time we had no problems. However, there were a few rooms that still had cold showers…brrr.
10. Rooms were full of bugs and critters! They wanted to keep us company! How thoughtful :) They also left many marks on us!
11. The food was better! Still had rice and beans at every meal, but we were also given Salsa Lizano to use as a condiment and it was great. We also had an endless supply of coffee :)
12. Little places called “Sodas” are very popular in Jaco and they are “pay by the plate” café’s. It is sort of like a buffet and you point to what you want and they dish it out – rice, beans, chicken, and plantains. It was about 1,800 colon which is about $3.50.
13. Surf shops and body boarding were also very popular.
14. Most of the people in Jaco spoke English. It is very much a tourist town.
15. Public bus service back to San Jose, which is about a 2-3 hour drive through the mountains, was only $3. Talk about cheap!

Jaco Ministry
The construction team worked on the local church right in town, only a 5-minute walk! No more buses  While the drama team was all over town (Pops ice cream at the center of town, the weekly market), the medical, cosmetology and VBS were at 2 different areas, which included the riverbed (where the squatters lived) and an area right on the edge of town.

As part of the construction team, we were given the task to rearrange the church due to potential as well as existing growth. We took down an office, some storage space, and the sound booth. Then we switched the stage area and added onto it, rebuilt the storage closet and the sound booth, rewired the church area to accommodate the changes, moved the projector and speakers, fixed the bathroom area and repainted everything. A full 4 days of work with finishing touches on the last day. Then we spent the remainder of the fourth day in the riverbed playing with the kids, jump rope, soccer, etc. It was finally nice to get out and hang out with the people of Jaco :)

This project was left up to our creativity, with minimal direction from supervisors in some areas, but then fixes in all areas afterwards. A little frustrating besides the fact that everything was done on Costa Rica time! Which is very slow! “When it gets done, it will get done”. But the final project turned out great, so we were happy!

San Jose - Week 1

We spent 1 week in San Jose on the outskirts of the city. The housing consisted of 4 dorm style buildings each with 2 large bedrooms containing 6 bunk beds, 4 showers, 2 bathrooms and 2 sinks. Then we had a main area where we met for breakfast & dinner downstairs and team time & devotions were held upstairs. Things we learned in San Jose:

1. At our accommodations, warm showers were rare! You were lucky if you got one. The more people taking showers, the shorted the hot water supply and pressure. Sometimes only a few dribbles would be available. We learned to take quick showers!
2. No toilet paper was to be flushed. Yes, a little unsanitary! But the Costa Rican sewer systems could not handle it.
3. July is the rainy season. It rained almost every day for a couple hours in the evening. However, a couple days it didn’t rain and a couple days it rained all afternoon!
4. Much of the country is set aside forever into protected National Parks, wildlife refuges and nature reserves.
5. Sun rises at 5:15am and sets at 6:00pm. So early to bed, early to rise!
6. Rice and beans were the main source of food for breakfast and dinner with a random side. We were also served a side of fruit, scrambled eggs or hotdog (yes, for breakfast), and for dinner a vegetable or a side of chicken was served.
7. PB&J were our staple for lunches, but we rejected the white bread after the first day and stopped at the store to get some good wheat bread!
8. Drinking water was essential! Must remember to be hydrated at all times!
9. Long Bus rides to our worksite in Acosta which was up in the mountains ranged from 1.5 to 2 hours! Costa Rica had crazy but good bus drivers! Also, there was major traffic in the downtown San Jose area during rush hour.
10. Daily schedules were very regimented: Breakfast at 6:30, Devotions/God time at 7:00, Team time at 8:00, Dinner at 6:30, Church at 7:30, Lights out at 10:30.

San Jose Ministry
The Construction, Medical and Cosmetology teams took a bus to Acosta everyday to a local church. Medical and Cosmo brought all their supplies, but we had to wait until we reached the site to purchase the materials for Construction since we didn’t know what projects we were going to do.

Our construction team was made up of 8 people. We were told that we were going to work on putting a plaster/stucco substance on the cinder block walls due to new codes that the church had a year to meet. So our job was to get as much done as possible in four days. We were given 2 wheelbarrows, a hose, a shovel and 2 makeshift wooden ladders. By the end of the trip we ended up purchasing 20 bags of “plaster”, a bucket of plasticizer, 3 “sponges”, 3 square plaster hand trowels, 3 triangle hand trowels and 4 wire brushes.

We had a lot of fun trying to learn the plastering trade. We worked very well together, blending our knowledge, giving compliments, and shooting sarcastic remarks back and forth. Everyone was ready to pitch in where help was needed. We were surprised at how much we got done, but by the last day, we all very sore and ready for a break! Drama and VBS were back in San Jose in the city center. They spent their days doing dramas and VBS played with the local kids. We didn’t get to see the results of this ministry since we were not able to be in the same area.

Happy Saturday!

It is a beautiful Saturday morning! I have been cleaning my house since 8:30! I decided I need to take a quick break before I dive back in.

These past couple days have been great. I have been gathering all the last minute items for my trip. All travel size items and miscellaneous stuff. I just received a last minute packing list including peanut butter and jelly, bug spray and a rain jacket. hmmm..sounds like camping to me :) I thought they were going to feed us on this trip? ;) One on my friends was kind enough to let me borrow her one pound sleeping bag to take with me. The lighter the better! I am just bringing my traveling backpack, so I need to cram everything in.

I also received the list of everyone going on the trip. There are about 65 people going and 12 people are on the construction team. They asked me if I would be a missionary assistant, so that is pretty cool. I am starting to get excited about the trip. Finishing up my devotions in the next couple days and getting prepared! I am so not going to want to come home....

I am also loving my new haircut! I never knew it would feel this great to have short hair. This morning I just threw it in a bandana, since I am just cleaning. It's going to be great for the trip!

Well, I must get back to transforming my house!

A New Me :)

So, I decided Tuesday morning on the way into work that I was going to cut my hair. Yep, that's where it started...

So, why did I do it?
1. It is a symbol that I am cutting away the baggage in my life! I was praying when I made the decision, and it is kind of like taking communion and washing away our sins, it was a committment that I made to God to move forward and focus on the future.
2. I wanted to donate it. People keep telling me that my hair is beautiful and not to cut it, and I decided to let someone else enjoy it and look beautiful :)
3. It is that time of year to cut it, and it so hot that working out is a pain and since I will be in Costa Rica, it will be easy to do my hair!
4. I have never cut my hair, so it is good to have change!

Here are the events that followed my deicsion....I called my friend Mechelle to be with me when I did it, and my friend Beti whose family owns a hair salon to see if her mother could cut it. Even though Mechelle couldn't be there, she filled me more in on the process of donating my hair to either Locks of Love or Wigs for Kids. She cut her hair a week after I met her, so I knew she would be a good source of information :) As far as an appt, I couldn't get in until Wed at 5:45. I had made up my mind to cut it, so there was no going back! Here are the before and after pics...

But since I have curly hair, here is a pic of me all natural!

What a change! It actually feels really good to be short, especially with the warm weather here and with my trip to Costa Rica :)

7 Days Left...

7 Days before I leave for Costa Rica. I have been thinking a lot about it since I decided to go back in April. I know that God will be by my side the whole trip, but I am preparing myself both mentally and physically until the day I leave. I don't know what is to come and I am putting God in control. I know that I must be flexible with no expectations.

The feeling and thoughts that are going through my head are somewhat different than last year when I went to South Africa. And more of a mix of the year before's trip to the UK and that of Italy the year before. It is a mission's trip, so I am going to be used by God and am preparing my heart to be changed. You may think this is crazy. I am a little nervous about the trip mainly because I feel like I will be a different person when I come home. That's not necessarily a bad thing, I just sometimes have issues with change.

3 years ago I went to Italy and escaped this place for 10 days. When I came home I was the same, but things here were different. 2 years ago I went to the UK and I came back more independent and more free spirited. Last year, I came home and I was no longer fulfilled by the life I had here, and had a really hard time adjusting to who I was and where I was in life. I don't want to compare this year to last, but wonder if I will have a similar feeling when I come home and want to make sure that I am prepared to handle it again. I must also be prepared for things to be different when I come back. As I have a feeling they will be.

I feel like this is a turning point in my life and I want to be prepared to accept it. Who will I meet? How will those people make a difference in my life? I am preparing mentally for it. I am finishing up my devotions that were specifically designed to help us prepare. I am on #5 of 10, so I have more to go. This week, I have a few drastic things planned and will let you in on them on a daily basis. There are reasons for them and I will explain as the week progresses. They are things that I feel I must do to prepare for this trip.

So please pray for me as I prepare for this journey that God has allowed me to partake in :)

Memories

So I have been thinking a lot about family lately. Spending time with them, the importance of having them in my life...etc. My parents are coming out here today and I am going to my sister's to go horse shopping with her tomorrow, and my other sister is flying in next weekend with little Katie :). Well, before getting ready for the day today, I started flipping through pictures realizing that it has been 3 years since I started my job out here. Realizing how fast time has been passing.

Then I realized that it is May 2008... What is the importance of this month? Well, it has been 25 years since my sister passed away from a brain tumor. I just started thinking how life would be different if she were still alive. Would she be married with kids? Where would she be living? How would my life be impacted because of it? I still wonder how it affects my mom with mother's day being tomorrow. Or how my sister feels since it was her twin.

I wonder where my life will be going forward. Who will be the man that sweeps me off my feet? Who will be the person that I love for the rest of my life? What will my children look life? How long will that be away? All questions that I answer with all in God's timing. But I live in the present and in each day, knowing that my future will figure itself out. Knowing that I must make something of each day :) And most of my friends know that I do!

Thoughts for the day...

So it hasn't necessarily been a bad day, it's just been weird... I was busier than ever at work, and as I was packing up, realized I had more things in my to-do pile and got nothing done from yesterday. I didn't really get a lunch, just had a few pieces of chicken, as I made a mental note to start keeping power bars at work. My day was thrown off as I started thinking about what I needed to do. I was so hungry, I decided to go home and make food first before I did anything. Course after I made food, realized that most of what I had to do or could do was stunted by my hand still being hurt. It's getting better, but I don't want to push it.

I started getting lazy and ended up watching tv and playing around on the computer, that I got fed up with myself and decided to cut my grass and get something accomplished. I actually got my lawn mower started for the first time this year (thanks to a little starter fluid) and finished cutting my grass and picking up the misc branches. Course my hand hurt a little, but I did most of it one handed, thanks to having a self-propelled lawn mower, so it wasn't too bad....

Just being outside, gave me a second wind and motivated me. So I started doing a little weeding and put my patio chairs out, and other misc things. Then decided to start returning phone calls and hoping to catch someone watching the wings game, since I don't have cable. However, no luck :( I only know one person who was watching the game and received no invite. Probably because I have been known to go to bed early lately, and this being a late game, but that's besides the point...

I am in a weird mood and in a weird place and in my head I want to go out and watch the game. Course my body is telling me to go to sleep! So that is overruling my head. I was also called out on a few things tonight that have been bothering me over the course of the last month. The conversation seemed to switch immediately, so I didn't have to deal with them, but now they are on my mind in this weird state. Hopefully I will figure out how to have a peace about them and what actions to take. For now, I must go..

Good News And.....

So the good news is that we are 12-0 in vball! Whoo hoo :) It's been a fun season! Bad news, I made a play last night and jammed my thumb pretty bad :( I couldn't move it and any sort of pressure didn't feel good at all! I finished playing, but only bumps and underhand serve. It was sad. Today it was still swollen and started to show bruising. I refuse to believe that it is broke, but it sure was a pain to get ready this morning. You don't realize how much you use your thumb until you can't. It is my right hand, so I can't write, I can make-do typing..., I was even in a meeting today and I couldn't shake their hands.. But I was thinking about it when I got home, all the activities that I am just getting back to will be an issue, well, until it is better...which I pray will be soon!! I play vball twice a week, salsa dance (kinda hard to be lead), tennis, my roommate wanted to throw the softball around today...my new gym is opening up next week and arm workouts will be an issue, I was even going to check out my friend's kickboxing class tonight.. :( . I am praying for healing and fast recovery. Speak things into existence!! And in the meantime, find out why God is making me take a break! :)

Summertime :)

It is summertime or at least the weather seems like it is :) My roommate and I have started it in full swing. During the past couple of days, this has been our routine....

1. Walk up at 6:00 in the morning
2. Go for a run, jumping jacks, situps and pushups
3. Go to work
4. Get home from work
5. Prep food for the grill
6. Relax and eat
7. Proceed with the evening

Ahh....life is good :)

I had to capture a picture of our kabobs tonight. They were amazing! :) My roommate and I are a good team! Granted, it has been a while since we have really had a chance to hangout, but we are trying to make up for it :)

Christmas in Action

I received an email Friday at 3:30 about an opportunity to participate in Christmas in Action in Pontiac. Without hesitation, I responded immediately and agreed to meet at 8:30 the next morning to help ready the house for the "extreme makeover" in two weeks. So bright and early, I dragged myself out of bed to spend a day out in the rain, hoping that most of the day would be spent indoors or that the rain would be minimal, but I had my raincoat just in case :) So, my cohort and I volunteered to be responsible for the 2nd floor along with 3 other people.

Our responsibility was to discard the contents of the second floor and ripe up the tiling/carpeting. After many trips down - and of course back up ;) - with mattresses, old tvs, dressers, etc... we were ready to start riping up the floor.. This was an old 1950s house (or older?) with a layer of orange thin carpet, on top of a layer of linoleum, on top of a layer of newspapers on top of the baseboards.

Once we got to the newspapers. We were quite intrigued. It was the Detroit Free Press and Pontiac Daily back in May 1950. The articles were quite interesting, the prices on items and some of the advertisements were cool. I even saw an old 1950 Pontiac advertisement, but I couldn't salvage it since that one was glued on pretty well. But I decided before all of it was torn up to get a picture. A few headings caught my eye, Deporting Halted War Bride (just 20 minutes before her plan left), a texian model (wearing a snake skin) and a Sears Roebuck and Co advertisement - look at those prices.

It was time to move onto the next project, we moved to the first floor and got a chance to talk to one of the tenants. We removed the carpet in the living room, and she was adamant about vacuuming herself - an 85 year old - wanted the exercise. Let me tell you about the vacuum, a 40-year old Kenmore, it looked just like my mom's old one. Talk about memories... And it still worked! After she was done vacuuming, a couple of us helped take down the blinds in one of the bedrooms. As soon as we got done, we took a few minutes to talk to her. For some reason we ended up talking about old hymns. Can't remember how was got on this topic, but before you knew it, we were singing... She had one of those voices that would have belted out in a gospel church back in the day, course at 85, it was very low and soft, but she had a wonderful voice. The meters she sang were amazing, we tryed to harmonize, but didn't have the years of practice. I mentioned Amazing Grace knowing that would be one hymn that she would remember. You should have heard the old version that she sang - it was definitely a memorable moment. I think we made her day :) I think the whole experience and amount of work that got done made the family's day. I can't wait to go back in two weeks.

Amazing Grace

I attended a Good Friday service last week at my church and they sang "Amazing Grace". Ever since, it has been running through my head...For that matter, I have been singing it aloud as I wandered through my house. Even today after volunteering at the soup kitchen, I starting humming it on my way out the door all the way to my car. Only through the Grace of God are we saved! What an awesome feeling to have :) God has done so much in my life and is using me to help others. As I talked to some of the guys tonight, one of them commented on how he is only alive and sane because of what God has done in his life. That is the common theme around the soup kitchen, how they were rescued by God's Grace and Love...

Read these lyrics and think about how these words affect the world we live in today..... How awesome is our God!

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, That saved a wretch like me....
I once was lost but now am found, Was blind, but now, I see.

T'was Grace that taught... my heart to fear. And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear...the hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares...we have already come.
T'was Grace that brought us safe thus far...and Grace will lead us home.

The Lord has promised good to me...His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be...as long as life endures.

When we've been here ten thousand years...bright shining as the sun.
We've no less days to sing God's praise...then when we've first begun.

"Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, That saved a wretch like me....
I once was lost but now am found, Was blind, but now, I see.

Summer Plans

Well, my summer plans are slowly coming together. If anyone is interested in this expedition, let me know. The more the merrier to do God's work! I am highly considering joining a group going to Costa Rica for 2 weeks this summer on a mission's trip starting June 25. I just filled out an application, and I talked to the coordinator last week about this opportunity. I feel such a great peace about it :) There are already 65 signed up to go, with three months left until the trip. Last year's trip to South Africa was life changing, as I think this trip will be. Check it out!

http://believersworld.com/missiontrips/index.php/MIssion-Trips/Mission-Costa-Rica.html

Costa Rica, San Jose & Jaco Beach: June 25-July 8^th

Travel to San Jose, Jaco Beach, and Quepos, Costa Rica. Experience the highs and lows of this beautiful country and its beautiful people: Lush rainforests and heartbreaking poverty, Magnificent mountains and single parent homes, Breathtaking volcanoes and impoverished refugees. One of the places we will be ministering is the Nicaraguan refugee camp of La Carpia, home to approximately 12,000 refugees who moved to Costa Rica to have a better life. Their homes are made of plywood, tin, and cardboard; their floors are mountain dirt. We will also partner with Calvary Chapel missionary/Pastor Mike Lawrence to minister in the barrios of Jaco Beach. Jaco is a beach town known for its great surf and night life—unfortunately this behavior has left the poor, broken, and empty people of Jaco largely ignored. In both of these cities, our goal is to bring people the hope of Jesus Christ through evangelism, drama, construction and work projects, cosmetology, surf and soccer outreach, VBS, medical clinics, and tech support. Everyone has a place to serve here.

Our trips have eleven distinct areas of ministry: evangelism/drama, construction/work projects, medical clinics (which require licensed doctors, nurses & EMT’s), technical support, surf outreach, Cosmetology, Soccer Outreach, Children’s Outreach, Prayer Ministry, and Orphanage ministry. You may pick the area of ministry that best suits you. You may choose more than one ministry area.

Refining Silver..

Someone sent this story to me this morning and I wanted to share it.

Malachi 3:3 says: "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver."
This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God.

One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study. That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver.

As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities.

The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says: "He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver." She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined. The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.

The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?" He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's easy -- when I see my image in it"

If today you are feeling the heat of the fire, remember that God has his eye on you and will keep watching you until He sees His image in you. This very moment, someone needs to know that God is watching over them. And, whatever they're going through, they'll be a better person in the end. "Life is a coin. You can spend it anyway you wish, but you can only spend it once"

Time is Flying!

I have been so busy that I can't believe how fast time has flown. The only time I seem to be able to make phone calls and catchup with people is in the car or the airport. I am always on my way somewhere! I feel bad because I have had to narrow my focus on friendships. I have four friends getting married, three having babies, and all the associated showers and bachlorette parties in the next couple months. And this week alone, there are 4 birthdays! Most of these people have been in my life for a long time, so there are not friendships that I can take lightly, so if I have dissappeared from the social scene I will be back soon! I am still trying to manage though and have started cutting back on my usual weekly committments (vball/salsa dancing/bible studies) so that I don't burn out or disappear for good....

I will find a way to make it all work. I always do, I am just loving caffeine right now!! That first cup of coffee is wonderful first thing in the morning :) In the meantime, I must keep an eye on deadlines and my career/life goals! Who would have thought that one of the last books I read was called "Making Room for Life".... Winter is usually my hibernation time and not so much this year! I have loved the snow, haven't minded the cold and winter depression is not an issue! This is going to be a great year if this keeps up :)

Howdy Stranger :)

I went to Texas last weekend and what a little adventure it turned out to be. I always say you meet everyone for a reason. Our flight left Dallas at 6:32am. Bright and early!! Well, this gave me time to people watch :) I overheard a few guys talking about going to a christian conference called creativity. It was all about bring relevancy into the church. I ended up talking to at least four of them about the conference and church in general. God put one of them on my heart. When we parted ways, he said to keep in touch and gave me the website of his church. Sunday night, I decided to take a few minutes to check out the website. There was a live webcast called "Distracted". It was just want I needed to hear. I know I have been keeping too busy lately and I just need to set aside me time. http://www.heritagelife.org/flvplayer.html So, even if I don't ever get a chance to check out the church, I feel like I was in the right place at the right time :)

Realizations

Let me set the mood for this blog....
Mood: Relaxed - drinking a glass of wine and surrounded by candles..
Sounds: Listening to Pandora's Music Box - created a station of new age music mix - and the raining coming down outside :)
Thoughts: All Over - Please beware!

This blog may lead you to some conclusions as to why I tend to hibernate or try to avoid thinking about my life. Here are some realizations and ideas in just the past few days...

Volunteering

• Soup Kitchen - I have realized that this has become a highlight of my week. I have started making relationships and it brings great joy when I can put a smile on someone's face when I talk to them, even something as little as remembering someone's name can light up a person's face. I think this is something that I need to get more involved in. I have also setup our monthly schedule for my co-workers to go with me and serve.
  

Work Discussions Leading to:

• Obtaining my MBA - A conversation on Friday sparked an interest in finally obtaining an MBA. I said I would do it when I got bored, but since I don't think that will happen... I am thinking this fall, but I need to take the GMAT, apply, get accepted, and find a way to pay for it. I always said I would do it when my work paid for most of it. Must figure out a way to make that happen. How realistic is it this year?
  
• Certifications - I found a course this evening that would be perfect for my position, a Business Energy Professional (BEP) through the AEE. It would require a 5-day course in Pasadena in April. Must find a way to get work to cover the cost. Also need to find a workshop on renewable energy - specifically solar. Still working on that...
• On the job training - Need to figure out what areas to dive into and what I would benefit the most from as far as projects. One trip that will be taken soon will be to Arlington, Texas.
  

Future Travels:

• Adventures in South Africa Part 2 - Nov 2008 - received an email yesterday with the update on this year's trip....leading to questions regarding life direction, funding, time off, however this really doesn't matter. The life changes that occured from the trip last year makes me wonder why I question going again. I can't imagine not going.
• Adventures in Italy (Greece and Spain) - This is my brother's last year in Italy before he retires. I want to plan one last excursion to Europe while he is there the first two weeks of July. I also have a friend who is moving to Torini in April, so I must make a pitstop there.
  
• Adventures in Montana - I received an email today from a friend about renting an RV with a group of people for a week long adventure sometime this summer. Again questions of time off and use of time.
• I watched P.S. I Love You last Thursday and now it has fueled my desire to go back to Ireland and Scotland. I would love to see Edinburgh again and spend more time there.
• I would also love to go to Isreal and Thailand sooner than later - This would probably be missions related trips.
  

Learning New Things:

• I have decided to start reading more, something I haven't done in a long time. I have been trying to read at least an hour or more a day. I am trying to finish one book in particular, but other things include the two bible studies I am in related to Genesis and Spiritual Warfare.
  
• In the last two days, I have been searching the internet for various items of interest. I have been diving into my christian faith and the foundation to really focus on why I believe what I believe. I have found a few website that have got me thinking.
• Stocks and investing... I finally finished my taxes and am trying to decide what to invest this year's Roth IRA in when I get my refund. I talk to my brother-in-law (my financial planner) about investments every time I see him. Today I started analyzing all the mutual funds that I have investments in and the stocks in each. Besides the fact that the stock market is down right and I am losing money.... I found a couple companies that I was surprised that I had investments in, i.e., one of the companies that I deal with at work - a oil/gas drilling company in Texas, go figure...
• I want to learn how to play chess again. I have a chess set next to my bed, and I really haven't played since I was a kid. The last time I played was at a little coffee shop in Windsor back on Sept 17, 2003 (I have a thing with remembering numbers and dates) I downloaded a program over the weekend so I can start playing against a computer :)
  
• I want to learn how to sail this summer...I love being on the water and would love to learn one day! Maybe I can do this when I go to Greece! I actually found a trip 2 years ago when I was looking at vacations....
  

So, this is the start of my list and the ideas that run though my head on a constant basis (these are mainly just from this weekend). Travel seems to be the basis of most of these thoughts... But it always comes down to the direction that my life is headed, God's will and the doors that remain open and those that shut. Money and time off are also an issue. But what things are important? What will help me stay on the right path? For that matter, am I on the right path? For now, I am single and there are many options and opportunities. That could change anyday, but hopefully when I meet the right person, they can keep up with me or just keep me grounded! So anyway, with thoughts like these, I will have an interesting year ahead of me!

Shellfish

Random topic, I know... On Tuesday, I wore a shirt that said "Selfish" on the front. The back quotes the scripture Philippians 2:3 "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves." It is an eye catcher, but the back makes a statement. This is a statement that I want to make with my life. This is part of my mission statement. I just had a conversation with my boss on Monday on the topic of my life mission statement, not just my work mission. What do I get excited about? On a daily basis at my job, I constantly help people. I try to get the bottlenecks out of every project. I make sure things go smoothly. Everything from a computer issue, to reviewing a letter, to processing a purchase req, to getting a PO cut, to getting an invoice paid, to analyzing a contract, to finding money in the budget to get a project funded. I am constantly getting phone calls, emails, people coming to my desk to solve their problem or assist them. As long as I can make a difference everyday I feel like I am here for a reason... However, the days that I don't, I feel like I am letting a day pass me by...

Which brings up my next thought. Mike started calling me Shellfish because of my shirt and it stuck. I saw him again Wednesday and he greeting me by saying Hello Shellfish :) What a random nickname, I kinda liked it and started to think about how it applied to me. When I was young, I was so quiet and shy just like I was hiding in my shell. Over time, I started coming out of my shell. However, there are still times when I slink back into my shell. I go into hibernation. I need my non-social time from the world. But how can I accomplish my mission if I am hiding in my shell? I realize that I can only sustain my mission if I take care of myself, take time to rest and reenergize. A shellfish also describes me because sometimes I put up walls around myself as protection, to keep myself from being hurt. It is usually only a translucent wall, but I still find a comfort in it. The people who know me see beyond the wall. I only let a few people in. One day I will have the ability to take it down, but for now..... I will keep the name shellfish :)

What I Should of Had on my List :(

So, it has been a long weekend, for that matter, a long two weeks. I have been thinking a lot about things that I want to change going forward. What I should have added were the following:
1. Get out of bed when my alarm goes off (not snoozing 5 times...) or
2. Get to work by 7:30 (this will allow me to get out by 4:00) or even
3. Get enough sleep.

Any of those would have worked. But maybe if I did #3, then #1, then #2, the problem would take care of itself. But instead now I have stories being made about me.... quite interesting.

Here is the story... I woke up this morning to my phone ringing..wait a sec, my alarm usually goes off first...confusion sets in. It was my boss calling at 8:45. Ahh!! Our meeting started at 9:00 and I was supposed to finalize the presentation. Crap! I hate when I do this. It is a rare occurence that's for sure! Course, I was on the ball with the conversation and gave him a couple things to start the meeting and told him I would be there in 20 minutes. I got ready in 4 minutes and was out the door. I walked into the conf room at 9:09 and took over... But in that 9 minutes here were the comments..

Boss: I felt like I was talking to my daugther and waking her up on the weekend!
- Yeah, now I really feel like a kid! and here I thought I sounded awake..
Co-Worker #1: She was waiting for Prince Charming to come wake her up with a kiss.
- That would be nice :)
Co-Worker #2: Randomly assigning duties to me. Making breakfast on Groundhog's day?? They were going to converge at my house and make me get up and cook for them.
- We'll see about that!
Co-Worker #3: Is she a good cook? Yes. Really? Well, I only have her word on that.
- And that may be all you will ever have! ;) hehe

The list would have probably gone on, but I think I walked in too soon! :)

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year everyone! I can't believe another year has gone by. Now it is time to make new year's resolutions, start figuring out what you what to accomplish this year, get back to the gym, etc...right? Well, I haven't even started thinking about it yet. I can't believe Christmas has come and gone. It is 2008! Where is the time going? I wonder what is in store for me this year? This past year was great. Lots of travels, new friends, and memories. Maybe I will just spend the next two weeks as a time of reflection and just dive back into life. I am in a different place than I was last year. I am a year older and a year wiser :) So, here is to 2008. Let it bring more quality friendship, many travels and hopefully I will make a difference in people's lives!